First, I want to say thanks for all of the comments.  I like getting them, it makes me feel like I'm actually talking to people out there when I write .

Here I sit, three days post chemo.  I've crossed a milestone.  

My treatment regimen is as follows:

• Double Mastectomy with Reconstruction (in progress)
• 4 rounds of A/C chemotherapy, every other week.  Total: 8 weeks (done!)
• 12 weeks of taxol/herceptin: Last day will be May 30th. 

Now, when talking to that friend of mine who is ahead of me in her treatment, we joke about how people always say "Well, this is going by fast!", or "You're almost done!"  

I will tell you, it does not feel that way at all.  I know that I've finished what is supposed to be the "bad stuff", but when I look at my calendar at May 30, I see nothing but 3 more months of treatment.  3 more months!!!  That is still a long time.  So, if you see me, you can give me a high five for finishing step one of chemo, but do not tell me that I'm almost there.  Ugh.  

• In three months, my daughter will be another year older.  
• In three months, the school year will be over. 
• In three months, the snow that covers the ground will be gone and we will be thinking about summer. 
• The next three months are speckled with weddings, showers, birthday parties, etc.  
• MY next three months will be covered in weekly chemo cocktails with my lovely nurses at the Plainfield Cancer center.  

Don't get me wrong, I'm over the woe-is-me phase, but man, when you look at three months??? It gets pretty depressing.  

It's also weird to think about the fact that when I'm finally done with the last phase of my reconstruction surgery, it will be over ONE YEAR from the date that I was diagnosed.

On one hand, this is all going by quickly, but on the other hand, it is dragging.

I've finally got some things to look forward to, so that is nice.  Now that everything is fine, I can write about what has been happening lately with the family.  My mother decided to get a mammogram recently (a good decision) because of my diagnosis.  She hadn't had one in a while and thought it would be a good idea.  Well, the tech said "we need a better look."  Fast forward a few days and they take a better look.  That tech said "Well, we should probably do a biopsy." Fast forward to appointment with Dr. M (my surgeon), he says "Yep, definitely a biopsy, we'll do one in a week."  Fast forward a week, mom has biopsy, Dr. M says "We'll let you know in a few days."  After those "few days", mom finally gets news that it is benign.

Now, I've played the waiting game before, but for me, I felt like I already knew.  I knew when I walked out of that cold room at the Edwards outpatient center in Plainfield that I had cancer.  People could try to tell me otherwise, or things like "it could be benign", but I knew.  For my mom, it was different.  My sis had to have a lump removed a month or so ago.  Dr. M saw her and said, "I'm 95% sure this is nothing."  It was nothing.  He saw me, and said something along the lines of "I'm pretty sure this is something." It was something.  When he saw my mom, it was "ehhhh, it could be something, but it could be nothing."  The waiting was brutal.  Meanwhile my dad decided to go to the doctor for shortness of breath.  They kept him overnight at the hospital for observation, so that was fun.  Anyway, all of these random things made me think.  #1, Edwards Hospital is making a TON of money off of my family, and #2 I don't think I could handle any more medical problems in this family right now.  Everything turned out fine, but it was freaky knowing that it MIGHT not be.  What was even more scary was the fact that I don't think I could have handled it.  I am too self centered right now.  I joked with my mom that cancer is my thing, not hers.  Well, I got my wish, I won.

Now that all the scariness is out of the way, I am finally starting to look forward to some things.
First, my mom and I made some plans.  This coming weekend is my last "break" from chemo.  Because (as stated above in this incredibly long post) I will be starting weekly chemo as opposed to bi-weekly chemo, I am taking advantage of this break.  I know that I will be feeling at least "ok" by next weekend, so my mom and I are taking a trip.  Troy is going fishing with the guys, and I thought it would be nice to get out of town.  So, we are heading to Mall of America.  Nothing like a little shopping to lighten the mood.

I'm really hoping that taxol won't be so bad because I can't stand the thought of chemo EVERY single week from here until May.  Oh well.